Sextoy Humor

The Austin Powers Penis Pump was actually an expensive top of the line item . . .
but we have many penis enlargers at better prices.

Buy vibrator in this video

There was this couple that had been married for 20 years. Every time they Made love the husband always insisted on shutting off the Light.

Well, after 20 years the wife felt this was ridiculous. She figured she Would break him out of this crazy habit. So one night, while they were in The middle of a wild, screaming, romantic session, she turned on the lights.

She looked down. And saw her husband was holding a battery-operated leisure Device… A vibrator! firm, wonderful and larger than a real one.

She went completely ballistic. ‘You impotent bastard,’ She screamed at him, ‘how could you be lying to me all of these years? You better explain Yourself!’

The husband looks her straight in the eyes and says calmly:
‘I’ll explain the toy . . . You explain the kids.’

Official Announcement:

The federal government today announced that it is changing its emblem from an Eagle to a CONDOM because it more accurately reflects the government’s political stance.

A condom allows for inflation, halts production, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives you a sense of security while you’re actually being screwed!

Damn, it just doesn’t get more accurate than that.

This is a real email from one of our customers. They could be joking, but something tells me this is for real

Subject: An Unusual Request! Please Let me know…

I have an Unusual but true request. I’m a male age 28, and getting married in Aug of 03. I love to wear Thick Baby Cloth Diapers and my Fiancee is well aware of it. Our wedding is going to be a small affair, and I want to wear my Very thick Cloth diaper down the aisle along with the upper part of my Tux, but all the while, the Diaper in full view. Can you make a Diaper like this? Money is no object in this matter as I’m independently wealthy. You see, I am a submissive and my girlfriend is a Dominant that will wear the top half of her wedding gown, but nothing but a white Mesh panty down the aisle to show her Rule over me. Please understand that I’m on the level concerning this request. Can you do it? Will Look for your reply, and thank you.

Best Regards:

I thought this was funny because the cartoon is actually making fun of the legislators who are supporting a bill to overturn the ban on adult sex toy sales.

Alabama Rep. John Rogers out to bust the sex toy ban is an article that tells the story of how John Rogers is tired of “Alabama being the laughingstock of the country.” He is probably the one being ridiculed in this cartoon.

Even dogs love this best selling dildo.

I have no idea why this video makes me laugh. It is really a bad impression with everyone laughing in the background. The person on the phone must know its a crank call, but nevertheless, its still kind of funny.

We sell the “We Vibe” not the “Wii Vibe”

Click for Vibrator from Video (cat and batteries not included)

Actual Email from customer:

Hi. I’m gay, and I am really interested in your largest double penetration dildo.
I don’t need any lubricant I’m a real man I have piercings to prove it.
Any ways me and my partner [he is also gay and minces when he walks I just love him]
Is really interested in a butt plug. We’re a little old so we will be needing the largest in Girth that you can possibly supply us. Read More…

Actual email from customer:

Im looking to order a starp on so I can give it to MY HUSBAND in the ASS, we tried a 6″, is there a smaller one and not as round, a starters kitt for beginners? please let me know so I can order ASAP before he changes his mind!!!

 

Actual Email from a customer:
 I’m looking for a vibrator that you put in the passenger seat of your motorcycle and it reves up when you give the bike more gas. a buddy of mind got on and said that he ordered it through this website but I have not been able to find it please let me know if this product exsists and how to order it if it does.

thanks,    hank

Actual email from a customer: 

What I am looking for is a stainless band neck collar like inch and a quarter wide that can be engraved with my slave/property info and my owners info on it something that has to be welded or rivited closed something that cant be removed with
out saw or cutting for perm wear. Allan